roles

i had just met a new person.  i was in a hurry to leave, and couldn't do justice to the meeting..towards the end, this new person said," i wont be able to drop u at ur place, since ive got to go elsewhere". i shook hands and left..some how i got the lingering feeling that he was upset that i didnt give him the allotted time.

an hour later, he called up,"hope u dont mind that i didnt drop u".

now, to be honest, it did grate a bit, but i said,"No, of course"

"cool" he said.

after I kept the phone aside, i observed a few things..

the conversation could have gone this way too..."Actually, yes, i did feel a bit bad, after all where u were going was not a different path from where i was going.(after all u are the guy and supposed to be chivalrous...of course i wont say this aloud, but my tone would definitely include this non verbal message..".

if i had done that, two things could have happened.

he wud have decided that i was too demanding(after all it was the first meeting), and decided I was not worth the while. so a budding friendship would have died out just like that.

Or we would have fallen in a pattern.

The humane goodness in him would feel obliged to pander to my hurts, the next time we meet. even though he mite be totally in a position not to do it. The relationship would have perhaps been defined in this way ie we would have got stuck in roles.... me of a person who demands, he as a person who fulfills..the relationship would continue, till the time he is through with the unfair demands of the role.

By not creating a role for him, or for myself( i didnt wait just to oblidge him), i created a rather role free relationship.

where we are or will  be friends, and we wont need roles to help us be friends...maybe the friendship will last longer when there are no minute roles to play.