men, women, sex and emotions

When we say men want sex and women want emotions from and in the relationship, and thats the tradeoff on which men women relationships stand, it doesnt really mean that men dont want emotional satisfaction or that women dont want sex at all!

Its only the that the required portions are inversely proportional.

Men are trained not to be emotionally overwhelmed cause where they are generous with emotional display, they cant find balance and thus find themselves totally weak and not in control, a state of mind, they instinctively are loathe to be in.

Women on the other hand never think of emotional bonding as losing control.

The real Problem starts when both feel they are giving more than they get!

And both think they arent asking for much!

Men wonder whats so big a deal and why such reluctance about having orgasmic bliss through the cheap wholesome way of a sexual act,
Whereas the women just cant understand why the man cant give her emotional support ( read that as time) even if he knows it makes her more receptive to the physical aspects of the relationship like sex.( i do think women love to receive gifts cause in a way it makes them feel valued... I wonder why men hate gifting? Is it the money part or is it the emotional display that gifting involves?)

Both think the other is selfish, cause they cant comply with such a simple demand, without acting pricy.

Maybe they need to take classes (joint classes) to drill into each other the art of giving sex and emotions in order to get emotions and sex.

Maybe then there will be more smooth sailing in man women relationships than there is at present!

love....

Love....

A half composed song
that oft dies
a well begun
but  incompletely sung

In the eternal quest of gold!

of memories

You want to know why
Unblinkingly i stare

When you walk into my room,
With that lithe animal grace
As you wipe your feet on my mat,
And bend down to untie your shoe lace,
And then lazily take your seat besides me
( just before you play with my hair)

Or When you talk your heart out,
About your starry eyed dreams and ideals,
(Ah, i feel so privileged!)
Or share your life's mundane fears

When you sip your beer
And break the simple bread,
Or When you look into the mirror
To pat your unruly hair,

As you dress to go away yet again,
And my time i bide,
Yes, I'm hoarding your million images
To keep me later occupied !

conflicts

conflicts

This is a topic that has always interested me. Maybe because perhaps they seem to affect me more than most normal people I know. I seem to be part of a tiny crowd, that seems to get extremely worked up over issues that most people I know, wouldnt waste more than a single minute on, before moving on.

In fact, today morning, while i was ruminating over the same subject, staring out of my 'window seat', ironically a part of me, was in anxiety. I had got a seat, right at the beginning of the bus, and the bus conductor simply seemed to not want to come to my place and issue me the ticket, the more he delayed, the anxious i got, all ill at ease, till he issued me the ticket and absolved me of the responsibility of having to buy it.

So what do we mean by conflict? For me the definition is very simple.. Anything, that adversely effects my peace of mind is a conflict. Anything that mars the stillness of a calm mind, that creates unintentional ripples, that makes me feel less than well, ie affects my sense of wellness,is conflict.

some conflicts are temporary...like the aforesaid conflict.it ended when the ticket was issued to me, tranquility restored instantly. On the other hand there are other conflicts that are not temporary. they keep reoccurring at regular intervals.

The ones that keep my mind ticking at an alarming rate. whenever there is yet another conflict, over a similar issue, with the same person, my mind is in disarray..I am so put off by the person, i wish to avoid the situations.by going to any lengths, that keep making us take the same road of squabbles and disagreements again and again.

while most people find it silly to keep prodding the brain, to keep harping at the same issue over and over, and prefer to ignore such present and potentially future occurrences as a tiny necessary evil, i am unable to let go,sometimes even for days on end, till ive ran each and every word uttered on both sides through my head, each expression, each hidden agenda, each cue 'missed at first,but flashed later in the head' till something clicks .. some new understanding of the situation,or the person, that had been missed the first time, in the jigsaw puzzle, so as to say!.

However, even conflicts can have different concoctions.

Often, it happens taht even if you are in conflict with the same person,over the same issue at regular intervals, yet the goodwill is not lost, and communication is restarted, after the fight, is as if on a clean slate. There are others areas of past, present, and future communication that still inspires a sense of being connected.

Other times, it just doesnt work. its such conflicts that i find most difficult, even impossible to bear.... conflicts with people, whose infinite unending capacity to harm, my peace of mind. There is simply no other shared good memories, to bring about clean slates, (or perhaps, our value systems are so different) any amount of goodwill cannot wipe the dread.
Recently, i had blocked (stopped communicating completely with) a few people from both, the virtual as well the real world.

The reason, I realize as an afterthought, is not that i have no inherent love for them, but because i have become unable to trust their capacity, not to topple the equilibrium of my mind anymore. They are in my minds eye,people still capable of harm. and as long as they are capable of harm, im unable to communicate even at a minimum social level with them.

Such conflicts can end only, either when one of the two sides is dead, or if both sides are ready to keep open all channels of communication, twenty four seven, time after time, without fail. This is a near impossible task, for if either side, knew how to do it, the situation wouldnt have reached this far, this low, in the first place.

lies

A box of tiny lies
Mean to protect,
Cause suffocation...
Truth steadily dies
Ill effects,
Of selfish fearful,
ineffective communication....

Verdict of Reigning dark silence
Thunderous roars ejecting
Each one us
Into dull lonely boxes
Of our brand of worldly lies

L

favours

Just Like u left,
Favour me, And Make
the memories go too...

Swiftly!

expectations

Goals, Dreams,
Ideals strewn around!

Invariably fulfilling
somebody else's expectations.

a stray wind

The stray wind
Scatters and blows
Sometimes hot,
sometimes cold

Wandering alone
In all loneliness
Not un cheery
Though restless

Now away from the pack,
Nothing to do
Nowhere to sway
Wanna go back?

nothing there either
the answer is a nay!

The affair

The affair

He had always loved money. Even as a very small child. One of the main reasons he had always wanted to grow up as soon as possible. was to be able to hold those crisp currency notes in his hands just like he had seen his father and uncles do umpteen times. It had always seemed such a cool gesture to a five year old to see his father flash the greens before it exchanged hands.

The amazing power of money had never been missed by him even then.

And just like an ardent lover, as soon as he entered his teens, he began to woo wealth goddess relentlessly.

Tentatively at first, then openly and then even shamelessly. Rights and wrongs ceased to have any meaning in the ruthless pursuit.

On her part, it must be mentioned that though She initially played the coy un trustable cottique, she eventually did give into his dogged persistence.

Soon, she was his to enjoy. Explore, Exploit. The surrender was dramatic.he was her god and she worshipped him with a devotion that only a woman in love could muster.

And yet as with all love affairs, things began to slow down

She eventually settled into playing the disgruntled, ever demanding wife. A wife who no longer gave pleasure as easily as before, and who made her price well known.

There were times when he felt he was holding on to the proverbial tigers tail, which he could not let go.

holding on to her was becoming even more weary some ,and he was not getting any younger. Yet his love for her never abated.he feared losing her.

More than that he feared a loss of face explaining the chinks in their once torrid affair. And yet Dissatisfaction did not stop him from wanting her and he his peace

When the end came it was sudden.

She left him one day just like that. Tricked by a much younger (at least in her eyes) and a more deserving man. Who could revive the spark he could no longer provide try as he might.

He never got to say goodbye either.

unbroken silences

They ask me
To break
my stony silence
Unburden
myself of buried pain

I think they mean well.

How does one
make them understand?

I scare not
Of not being understood,
For i face not,
a mind closed to love or reason

What i fear
Is being misunderstood
By the vast heartlessly undeserving!

unburdening the soul

so, the soul,
unburdens,
more and more

as it fears losses
less and less!

forgiveness is the key.

stalker

The unrelenting snake,
stealthily it follows eve
spewing lethal venom
filling eden with noxious poison,

oh! eva's sorrowed folly
the devil so rallies
over her ancient fallen temptation
of lusting for an apple forbidden!

illusions

I wait carelessly
For the tiptoe
Of a new set
of your empty promises

Who says
One cannot bask
In our fond illusions?

unforgetting sands

Aaaaah!

Such a disfavour,
my dearest,
Your fickle love has gifted....
an indelible
mark on this proud unbendable body

Even waves
Of tears
Unable
To wash away
The footprints
Carelessly left by you
on the unforgetting sands of my time!

ego

Ego
at play says...
Im nothing,
And while im nothing
im still better than you!

lips..

My lips....
Eager Petals in bloom,

Whenever they hear of you!

city life

City life!

It was Just yesterday,
That we parted

Minute,
minuscule,
Unimportant,
busy, regular,
mundane routine 

million numerous
moments
in between

It all now Seems
like an another different world,
Another life!

memories

Heap full
Of garbled memories..

Awaiting detangling,
sorting, rearranging, classifying,
Weeding out, preserving!

Should be time well spent!