Wednesday, 27 April 2011

one hand clap

eureka, eureka
i think i knw the meaning of the adage, one hand clap..its one of the questions that most seers ask, the other being who are u?:P.

well, i think one hand clap is a person who is so self sufficient in himself emotionally,that he claps with one hand and doesn't need another hand to complete the clap. the clap is complete with one hand itself...its the total detachment...

Monday, 25 April 2011

newspaper musings

today i had loads of free time, since i woke up at 5.30 for a change,fully refereshed and having nothing else to do, took up the bombay times to lap it up ( btw, how come shiv sena or mms has not rallied to make it mumbai times?...hmm, are they on Jain's payroll by any chance?....).

first news taht caught my attention was about how amisha patel has not invited her parents to her production house launch....well, waht did her parents expect? that she would let her interfere in her financial matters yet again....come on if i remember right she was a gold medalist or something in economics from some porehn university before she came to shake it all, in kaho na pyar hai.!  well some people never lose hope i guess.








talking of which the next news item that caught my attention...sweta tiwari throws her ususal tantrums in B town....well, i can finally understand her husband raja tiwari's frustrations over the years...my sympathies with taht guy.,







and i thot the female director(forget her name) who is directing aamir khan's next movie, has got all her assistant directors throw the towel mid way due to her obstinate ways.....if there is any truth in the matter, then how come aamir has not yet dumped her, as he has done to umpteen directors in the past....something tells me kiran rao need to worry an itsy titsy bit.....the pic that they brought along with the report shows her to be a somewhat replica of kiran rao... which might explain aamir's silence on this one....after all, we all have our types dont we!

robert faked royal connect.....lol, maybe not getting an invitation to the royal wedding mite have forced him to spill the beans after all!

and that guy vikas manaktala? who is apparently rohit bal's latest squeeze? so is taht another contract relationship which will last for three years with the straight guy vikas, getting married to a girl, as per the contract of course, once the contract period is executed satisfactorily to rohit bals content? or is there more to come?


arrogance repulses me....bobby deol..u have to give it to him, never heard of any reports tht he was arrogant with any body anywhere anytime all these years he has been in the industry...that he has never got a real chance to be in that position is not another matter. where we have seen people even lesser successful than bobby throw their arrogant shoulders at all and whosoever is willing to take it, bobby is an exception...good work bobby!




anuskha must be learning about the pitfalls of stardom! that somebody noticed that she was wearing the same pants to three different occasions, might have got her adrenalin high, but on second thoughts, it would have quite irritated her, that she has to now join the 'never repeat a dress or u are not cool' brigade, and spend all her hard earned  money she gets, by greeting to bollywood numbers on dresses she cant even wear again....

take a leaf from farah khan dearie, who fearlessly proclaimed, i repeat my clothes please.! or even camila parker boules, who made it clear that she was no clotheshorse princess diana, and dont expect her to behave like one!





well, so long till i feel like reading another bombay times! hopefully it will still be called by that name only...otherwise some politician would have seen this blog, and thought it  a good publicity garnering agenda, and be at the times of india throat, to make it mumbai times!

the roadies thingie

          trust the politicians to kill any pure emotion that a  person can have....till yesterday, i was rather proud of one of my previous blog post, three smug men. and felt great that i had done my bit to put their snotty smug faces to the ground....and today there is news that some ABVP people apparently threw ink drops on the baldy brothers and claimed to have blackened their faces to see them see light and stop abusing the youth! ...hmm what an agenda for the ABVP i must say....they simply dont see the irony of physically abusing the baldies, in the guise protesting about verbal assaults of similar nature on the youth.

       oh, please ABVP, the youth can take care of  itself...all the members in the show who have been selected, and those who went rejected, knew exactly what they were getting into, and definitely dont u guys to tell them what is good for them and what is not, and certainly not  in the manner you guys have chosen to voice your offense.

     and if its publicity u want, u just wanna bask in the roadies glory(?), and hope some of it rubs onto u guys, then just say so.instead of using the same people who u claim to represent! yeh public hai, sab janti, hai! remember!


          well baldies tough luck, my heart goes for u...after all u guys are just doing ur jobs...to manage to rake up enough controversy and get your face blackened, for doing a job, its like i said tough luck.

           my sympathies!

Thursday, 14 April 2011

rumi

its rumi to the rescue. i get two lines from poem of his.

i love u-- i love myself
i love myself -   i love u.


the lines are answers to a question ive been asking of life itself for quite some time now.

i was having the conversation with a person about people who hurt u even as they love u and u love them. he had a simple formula...nothing, no person is more important than yourself...i cant agree..that is rubbish, i pooh pooh him..that person is important to me, because im important to myself...so how can i pretend that he is not important in my scheme of things...


now rumi gives me the answer...i love u, if i love myself, and i love myself, if i love u... what remains to be answered  is the question of pain...

well, pain is love too..



boredom, bliss and idli!

the familiar feeling is settling on me again.

i m alone, nobody to talk to, nothing to do, or at least nothing taht i want to do, nothing to think, and no people online to chat with..absolutely nothing .............formerly i used to dread these occasions. today somehow there is a breakthrough. i realise that what i call boredom is nothing but bliss..tis actually freedom. freedom from teh need to engage in some activity, any activity mindless or useful. its freedom from everything ...current and future worries. problems, irritations, hopes, aspirations..its...its..... an emptiness.


what ive had been dreading al along, is also what i had always been searching all along..bliss, that is. and to think that i did not recognise it, when i first saw it...

i try to figure how i feel when im feeling empty. strangely, what comes to mind is the south indian dish idli...a fermented idli without the chatni..ive always felt idli has no specific taste..its not sweet, its not sour, not spicy, not pungent...its just idli.. and thats what bliss is all too. bliss is idli.

hope the learning remains with me!

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

give and take

Haven't we all come across people whom we think are bad givers?
whom we feel shortchanged when we interact with them over prolonged periods of time.
 especially if they are family members, or people to whom we are married to?

Sometimes we arent even fully aware that the continuous sense of unfulfilment in certain relationships arise from this particular reason. we dont feel 'given' to.(i've already covered giving in another post...giving.. essence of giving is connecting).

I ve come across people who somehow cant feel loved, unless they are in a take take relationship.
.if they have to give, they feel shortchanged.
 for the person on the other end ie stuck in a give give situation, its a bit difficult to sustain such relationships, unless the person who is the taker is way too rich or way too beautiful or way too talented etc.
 which i guess means, that the taker thinks he is way above the ordinary.
 he feels that the very fact that he has chosen the person to take from is something the giver has to appreciate as his 'giving'...

It usually works, only if the giver is the kind of person who is afraid of taking, ie afraid to debit his credit balance so as to speak. then and only then, is the situation a win win situation.


in all other cases, the relationship is doomed for failure. give and take is an essential part of any relationship, for it to sustain. the balance depends of course on the individual personalities.

Tuesday, 12 April 2011

a woman director in bollywood-farah

rani to direct a film, say the headlines...

well, so she now want to direct...interesting..

what kind of films would she like to direct? i try to put myself into her shoes, some how i feel that she would succumb to directing  films women oriented themes, which would be a pity. almost all the women directors this country has produced have got stuck in the woman feminist theme. right from aparna sen, to deepa mehta to kalpana lajmi,revati, saroh khan,  even sai paranjape went for simple neutral themes instead of an out and out unapologetic unabashed nonsensical bollywood masala.

 the only woman director that comes to mind who broke that mould, and made no bones about making bollywood tripe is farah khan. in that sense she is truely  i can safely say a woman director who has been able to rise above the restrictive feminist trap, at least where bollywood is concerned,  and makes successes(huge or not is another question), of tripe like OSO, and MNK. she actually can create scenes like sheela ki jawani,(nothing less than 'blue films' banner, and the initial lines of the song picturised in a fashion that  seem suggestive of  'gang bang' porn, which feminists should find totally objectionable, if they actually thought to think about it, though she went and spoilt it all by insisting that it was superior song, and not tacky like other bollywood hot numbers..


i had first noticed farah khan, in an interview just after 'pehla nasha' was declared a hit, and she grinned while answering a question, how come she managed to snatch this song from saroj khan, the reigning cheorographer in bollywood in those days, "because im cute"..that spelt loads of attitude, and the kind of attitude i liked. she was a rebel. an instinctive rebel, not a cultivated rebel, against the establishment of bollywood. farah, kudos, for being a person who has the guts to make tripe, and make money out of it, like the men in the industry are doing, for not falling for the 'im a woman, so ive to be more intelligent, and make serious films' trap, and getting relegated to just that later, like 'art film' directors prakash jha and other directors have been relegated to.

Though, today  Farah is establishment, and comes across as no different from the people she at one time rebelled against, yet nothing can take away from her the credit of being a human being first, and then a woman. that glory is all hers and hers only.

rani, i hope u dont fall for the feminist trap, and give us some memorable bollywood films like farah, another Om Shanti Om, another Kutch Kutch hota hai like ur dear friend Kjo, another band baaja barat!


heres fingers crossed for u rani, and all the best in your new venture.

Monday, 11 April 2011

CONNECTIONS:


       Heres the gist of a conversation I had on fb with a female colleague ive know for years:

       SHE:Life is too complicated..Dont try to find d answers, Bcoz........when v find d answers, lyf     changes d questions...............

       ME: life is simple actualy, eat, drink, sleep, love...WE have complicated it!

      SHE: Life is more than eat drink sleep. Running from facts is cowardice. No other word. Escapism is another word of course! In fact Aneeta, when you said love everything else came in - eat drink sleep seemed small stuff! Search for your answers or eat drink sleep! Could not resist, Aneeta. Don't take it personally:). I know you and I don't need to evaluate or judge you. Or rather who am I to judge?! We are different personalities and I respect you for who you are.

        ME:running away from the fact that life is in fact simple and entails eat, drink sleep and love, is ignorance of the highest order, in fact! :) eat, drink, sleep, is part of love..actually..i wanted to emphasise simplicity, hence use of those words..once the word love is used, suddenly it gets complicated, cause love is understood to be very complicated... ive searched for my answers, and thats the answer i got!...life is very very simple, and we have complicated it with our egoes! And yeah,, nothing personal...in fact its good to get opposing views, it makes tweaking my thoughts easier.

       SHE:I wrote all those things knowing its you:). With anybody else I would have to exercise caution!



          I start my blog with this conversation, and it’s her last line I wish  draw the attention to.

          I’ve known this person for like almost 15 years, and we never had an easy going relationship. We use to be in the same lunch group, and I always found her to be a person who was different from the others, not because she was naturally different, but because she wanted to be ‘seen’ as different.

            So she was a vegan even before we knew what it was all about( I mean we know about vegetarians sticking up their noses at the non vegetarians, but what is this new snob thing going around?)  she was the first woman I knew in government circles who went to cyber cafes to chat up with friends, she was the one who got a haircut from a male hairdresser long before it became rather common, she took pride in telling us stories about how she locked her mother in law out of the house by mistake, of how she gave wrong directions to a girl by mistake, and how the girl had lost almost 2 hours, of how she believed that children should be allowed to run amok in restaurants cause they are children.

          In fact we were almost always at logger heads, on almost all topics. Most of the time my ‘parent’ state revolted against her ‘cultivated’ childishness, I guess, while maybe her ‘child’ found me too intimidating. I finally learnt that discretion is the better part of valor, if we happened to have opposing views on any subject, as the others in the lunch group weren’t much interested in our verbal spats.


           This spat also I wouldn’t have got involved, if it wasn’t online, and if I hadn’t been able to soften my blows with etiquette. But the last line just floored me.. she actually never really resented my opposing her, in fact, she was open with me only because it was me, and she didn’t have to fear or exercise caution.

           Suddenly the 15 years of animosity just evaporated. I now feel light when I think about her. In that one line, online we connected!

Sunday, 10 April 2011

Love cant find a way.....

Love cant find a way.....

there was never any doubt
of the love that flows between us.,
it always scotched the heart,
and the mind and the brain,
it doused them with intentions,
kind and cruel,
u want love without structures,
so do i,
both just cant get around
to the structure
of the structures that we dont want,
why cant just hungry minds meet, says i,
why the fetters, asks you,
we fight, we talk, we whisper angrily,
we even shout,
and in the meanwhile,
our shadows get longer and shorter,
they just cant meet.,

love cant find a way!

morning musings

took a rickshaw to attend the yoga class  as early as 6.30 in the  morning. the cool breeze hitting the face, the early morning scenes, the chirping of the birds, the lack of the usual traffic, vehicles and crowds...my heart was feeling light, and i think it reflected on my face, cause i could see passersby looking at me......i remember a similar expression,  when i was lost into the music flowing from my walk man, on the local train,  and one fellow traveler who nudged me had carried the same expression "what are u listening to? can i know the name of the song?....u are so lost in the song".

until i reached a little before inorbit... i am a bit directionally challenged, and get very tense if i am asked to give directions, the rickshaw driver did not know my route, and had asked me to guide him. and i knew he was supposed to take a turn, that lane or next lane, and i wasnt very sure about the lane....and that ended  my light as air feeling. It just  evaporated.

i suddenly WANTED to be clear about the route. i came back to the world with a bang. but i sure realised something.. u are light as air,almost in heaven, when ur mind is blank, without any goals or wants. the minute there is a goal,or a want, u come back to earth.

not a bad learning for an early sunday morning!




Saturday, 9 April 2011

On giving


             Kahlil Gibran

             'You give but little when you give of your possessions.
             It is when you give of yourself that you truly give."


             my question: how can one give of oneself? the way gibran means it? what all does it entail? does
 this giving ur self in the simplest term of the world 'giving ur time' to whosoever who needs it?( time...is it a commodity, a possession? in that sense, then isnt 'yourself' also a possession, a commodity?) the more  i think, the more i feel what gibran meant when he says the above, is that, for example, if u see a sick person, u give him money, cause it ur duty, but its not enough. u should also give him compassion., u give him ur 'time', your love....that kind of giving


             i m trying to makes more sense of the statement, and this incident that happened two days back flash by.

            i was walking out of grant road station to work, and there was this very old lady, sitting alone on a narrow ledge, eating, enjoying her lunch, while hundreds of commuters walked in and out of her 'dining room' ..... chappatis, sabji, and she was having a boul of rubber tube cut from a car tyre no doubt, in which she was churning curds,before she had the drink. i was facinated by her curd churner, it was a smaller model of the regular churner u see in most indian homes, made of thin stripes of bamboo, and i was marveling at the craftsmanship of the person who must have made it.

          in the meanwhile, she thought i was pitying her poverty, and gave me a self depreciating laugh.  

          i smiled back at her, which said, no, its not ur poverty, its ur 'kingly' way of eating that caught my attention. and I went ahead...

i guess, respect, man to man, is a huge part of giving!



yes, i think i got it....its 'connecting'' thats 'giving'!

lok pal bill

          burnt my fingers today, frying puris. three of them on the right hand. also the day, when the conditions of anna hazare who has been on a hunger strike for four days now has ended his fast, as the government has agreed taht the lok pal bill will be passed as per his five conditions.

          my IITian friends on orkut and other social networking sites seem to think its a half baked bill, and a half baked protest..and that hopefully the weakness of the bill would be ironed out at its finalisation.

          i am too lazy to check out what they are talking about, at the same time, i hope india has not burnt its hands like me today!

Sunday, 3 April 2011

no one killed jessica


No one killed jessica

Thanks to colors channel, finally watched the movie today!

This had been on my ‘will have to see’ movie cause it was a movie was purported to have been made on a issue that had caught the national interest just a few years ago. What stopped me from watching the movie in the theatres was the twin reason of rani mukherjee and vidya balan as the protagonists. Somehow I always find vidya balan irritating(except for her very first movie pareenita) , and nowadays rani mukherjee is getting to be good at the stuff too. If it weren’t for the “look india, im such a matyr’ look of vidya and ‘look at my outstrethed boobs, so…I’m THE bitch’ attitude of rani in the posters, perhaps I would have seen it in 
the theatres too, the week it got released.

Anyways, am glad I could catch it at least now.

Vidya and Rani as I expected were the jarring notes in this otherwise compact, no nonsense styled movie. Somehow it does seem a shame that a movie on a relevant social cause like no one killed jesica, can be made only if it can manage to draw the star power of so called stars, even though they are considered to belong to a better breed of ‘actors’ in an otherwise mediocre acting skilled hindi film industry, and yet when the movie is finally made it’s the artificial refinement of these same actors that robs the much needed authenticity from the movie. Like rani does not come across as a sweetheart bitch journalist as much as she comes across as actresses rani trying toooooooo hard to be a sweetheart bitch journalist, but ends up just a foul mouthed over acting caricature of a journalist,(kangana, who could have managed to play the detached bitch, who can also surprising turn around and be the good girl for a change, instead of rani who played it less efficiently like an attached sweetheart who is a bitch cause its cool; or konkona, as the inelligent, not so beautiful vulnerable sister of the glamourous jessica, wud have done loads of justice I feel). Unfortunately, such roles don’t go  konkana or kangana for lack of godfathers and manipulative 
career strategies.


 Its bollywood’s loss really.


Vidya also seems to get caught up in thinking that the deglamourised spectacled ‘look’ is good enough, for giving a performance. Its almost like there is no competition at all in the acting deparment to these women so that a little  better acting than average, is given the tag of brilliant. but somehow it fails to touch u, especially in the core scene, i.e the showdown between rani and vidya. Both actors failed miserably in that scene, (rani in many other scenes too)…vidya just could could not portray the pathos of a young 28 year old woman who, at age 22, set out to get justice for her sister, trusting the system, the judiciary, the police, the people, the masses and the slow but steady erosion off her faith, so much so, that just six years later, while the whole nation was now rallying behind her, she doesn’t want to have do anything with the case.. she no longer wants justice, (not because she does not want it, not that she has become a saint, but because life taught her the bitter lesson that there is no justice, for anybody. Its life, (and not rani!) that’s the bitch. She just wanted a closure.
Surprisingly, or perhaps not so surprisingly, all the other characters other than vidya and rani make a wonderful impact..they all fit the bill, right from the killer, Sharma(or whatever he was named), both the lawyers, the corrupt policeman with enough morals to make him want jesica to get justice, the struggling actor who did not know ‘hindi’, the itsy bitsy girls and guys who, decided to that enough is enough and decided to do away with that the sham of justice being done…even the new lanky girl who played jesica. All have done justice to their jobs.

Well kudos to the makers anyways, for trying to make an entertaining film out of a socially revelant cause, and i guess rani and vidya deserve kudos for at least giving it a try!


wel done guys!