of men

it was just a few days ago that the final piece of the jigsaw puzzle fell in place.

its been years ive been trying to make sense of men. somehow the more i more i understood them, the more i felt i didnt understand them..loving men is the easiest thing to do, they are so low maintenance, understanding them impossible.

numerous discussions with male friends, and i never ever got the whole picture.

last week i was with it, yet again, with yet another male friend..

the topic was not different.we had discussed it many times earlier too..in fact we have been discussing it for more than 15 years now...when ever he gets into a new relationship....why do men lie to women in relationships? lie as in exaggerate their emotional need for the woman, promises that they never mean in the first place, and certainly not mean to be keep at all.

why the lovey dovey talk, when u dont really really mean it?...we do mean it, he says, just that we don't mean it to the extent that u guys want to believe it..so when u know that there is a mis communication, then why do u persist in continuing in the same vein?

listen girl, he says, if i call u up and tell u, 'girl, i badly feel the need to enter u, better be ready for me with ur cunt" will u be ready in ur bridal wear? or with it be the slippers waiting for me....the slippers i say indignantly....why? he asks.......hmmm, maybe because u r taking me for granted...

therein lies the whole confusion. he says, if a woman asked me to wait with an erection, cause she badly wants sex, my erection wud be twice as high, but u women find it offensive...so we guys are forced to build those rosy premises, in order to gain entry into ur vaginas...

'somehow" i end the conversation," i never see men as people with penises. ive always seen men as people. just like women are people..its only when they give me signals, that they become people with penises too, not otherwise, not before".

yesterday, on one of the groups of FB, somebody posted....men are less complicated than women..they think, love and pee from the same place..

which is when the penny dropped. yes. YES! this is the last piece of the jigsaw puzzle. what ive been missing from time immemorial. suddenly it all makes sense.
men are not just people, men are people with penises..that's all what they really are..and they know this simple truth..its us women who want to believe otherwise. and men, just to please the woman with the vagina, tries to speak a language they just don't know..its like playing a game without ever knowing the rules..playing it by the ear, so as to speak..some men are naturally good at it, not the game, but playing by the ear, where as some men are simply not capable of such complicated moves. and the 'lies' are just parts of playing it by the ear.

i remember another friend tell me once...i always thought women are best suited for screwing..i really dont know what to do with them before or after the act....i knew he was being honest,but i thot he was being dismissive about the intellectual abilities of women, i what i didnt understand then, which i understand now, is that what he was actually voicing was his inability to learn to play it by the ear..interacting with a woman out of bed, was like taking a maths exam,for a person who is poor in maths. cause he simply wasnt good at playing by the ear.

then i remember another scene from the movie pyar ke side effects..where rahul bose tries to woo his girl back, doesnt know what to say, and yet keeps a mental score card...ha, i dont know what im saying, but i winning...and then she starts crying...and he cries foul...

another penny falls in place...why men give up when a woman starts crying...cause now he cant even play it by the ear...even his playing by the ear is not helping..that she is crying, is a clear cut message that she is upset.,what is not clear is why is she upset..and his playing by the ear has no solutions..to this crisis at least!

now it makes sense, why husbands take their wives for granted. they dont need to play it by the ear..the sex is more or less given at regular intervals, as a matter of right. so then u needn't do that always tiring and futile exercise, of guessing what she wants to hear today, cause she rarely wants to hear the same thing tomorrow anyways!.

summing it up, that men feel uncomfortable around intangibles, ie and since they cant be sure of what the right responses are, they end up playing by the ear, and the woman, hangs on to his each word, not realizing that he is just playing it by the ea

rules :P

well, if u want to know what im good at il let u on to it: it is playing ur game by ur rules, and getting to be better than u at it ... that way, between the two of us, i ensure im the best, cause u still dont know my game and my rules!!! :P.

the ex-gang

"i had wanted to spend my every waking hour with u guys.i had wanted to know all about u guys...all....it was u guys who spoilt it for me..by deciding that all we should be, all we need to be, is just be nice to each other, all the time. you know guys, when u did that,though u didnt mean it, u killed it for me!"

buddies

buddies

and we thought
we could also be friends,
we could talk, share our worlds,

we could flirt and make love,
it was to be a whole new world unfurled,

happy we are,
fulfilled, are we?
do we fit like a whole?
friends with benefits
is like heart without soul!

walk the talk

walk the talk.

does anybody remember the movie Satyakam?!.

released somewhere in the late or mid sixties. it was a Hrishikesh Mukherjee film staring Dharamendra, Sharmila Tagore, Sanjeev Kumar, and Ashok Kumar.

Its a tale of an idealist's loosing battle in a practical world.

Dharamendra is the idealist who zealously values honesty, integrity and truthfulness, even in the face of deepest temptations and bleakest hardships. These values had been instilled in him by his grandfather, Ashok Kumar, who himself is shown to be a towering personality.

Dharamendra,an engineer by profession (and also the topper in his batch), who refuses to compromise, come what may, ends up, fighting a lonely and increasingly bitter battle against a corrupt system, to the determent of his own career, and personal life...so much so, that at one stage, the movie shows his batch mate and best friend comes to work in his office as HIS boss.

his trysts by fire, includes situations where he rescues Sharmila Tagore, a woman of dubious parentage, also the keep of his boss, from her hellhole,to give her the respectability of a wife.

that he also loved her, is shown in a scene, where she, sadly, tells him of how their marital relationship was marred by the shadow of his ex-boss, who was the father of their son..dharamendra, in total honesty, tells her, u know i love u( ie it was not just duty that made me marry u), and she again in totally honesty say, yes i know that..which is why i often wish i could come back to u with a new body, and start on a clean slate...it was a rare husband wife relationship, that had no masks.

In fact, it is here that the towering personality of Ashok Kumar, is shown to have clay feet. He is simply not able to accept the lowliness of his grandson's wife and disowns them. He could not WALK THE TALK.

another scene, which shows a discussion Dharam has with sanjeev kumar, who asks him the wisdom of not signing the bills of the contractor, cause the workers were not paid..its not ur battle, its their battle, why are u fighting their battle?, and here is where it shows Dharam walk the talk...how so ever the courts of india may be free and lawful,he says, the sheer time taken for justice renders it useless for the workers. knowing that, if i don't do it,then i'm just being technically honest, not really honest.

another scene i remember till date, is when sharmila discusses Dharam's despair fighting against the system with Sanjeev Kumar, he is like 24 carrot gold,so pure, that he is useless, cause he cannot be ornamented. Total purity has no value in the mundane world.

the one scene which shows, triumph of his values, (and love), is when he is dying in hospital of cancer, and his last temptation to buckle to the pressure to sign the bills..(.sharmila gives him an ultimatum to stop being selfish and think about their future too) so that his widow and child could have a secure future..he signs the bills, all the while sure(thats what i wud like to think) that his better half would save him from falling from his ideals...which she does, when she tears the bills away, letting him keep his ideal one more time.

the story does not end there.

the story ends, when ashok kumar who doesnt allow dharamendr's son to do any of the rituals associated with the funeral, cause he is not his son, and everybody wondering why?, and then the child boldly proclaims to the world,. cause im not his son...my mom told me this, my mom never lies..which is when Ashok Kumar, realises that HE is Dharam's son,not by virtue of being his biological son, but by virtue of effortless carrying the flag of honesty.

i really know know how the movie fared at the box office when it released, and how many people wud have liked the movie, but this is a movie close to my heart.

mirrors

it
must be love,
or
i wouldnt look at the mirror
with ur eyes!!

storms

You carry numerous storms,
in your  head
i carry them
in my heart,
or

maybe
your storms are of the heart,
and
mine of the head,
your storms
no doubt
are different from mine..
but
together
we can try to help
stem
our respective storms.

idols and worship

its
not
the idol,
its the worship,
that will finally liberate us.

expectations

expectations

i expect u
to be
genuine,

fair-minded,
sensitive,
and
be true to urself

u expect me
to give u space.

intoxication

i
stare
into ur eyes,
u into mine,
steadily,

we
look on,
time
stops breathing,
and all that exists
is
the heady intoxication!.

Long distance friendships

Long distance friendships

sometimes i feel

we just know each other so
it almost feels like
u know my every pore

and other times,
so far apart in our stances
no amount of words
can help shrink the distances

distances of the physical kind,
do they actually hamper?,
meeting of minds should need no space,
nor should they even matter

sometimes the restless mind
is comforted even without u,
but yet other turmoil times,
its pines dreadfully for a whiff of u.

we may not hold hands,
to walk life's uncertain ways
but we'll heed to the lonely cry from afar,
as companions always.

warmth

warmth

there was a time,
long long ago,
heeding warnings from the wise,

when i was afraid to love.

and yet love claimed me,
one empty lonely day,
and i too learnt to play the game of love
with abandon gay.

it was mostly was a guessing game
of he loves me bits, or he loves me whole,
also a game of accumulating scrapes and bruises
on my innocent soul

I learn that love hurts
hurts badly, and how,
I now understood
why the wise had warned against love,

and yet I also wisely understood,
that for all the inherent pain,
love enriched, as no other,
its not all losses, as much as gain.

and years later, on the road of life,
I became the 'wise' one,
I smartly close myself to love,
i dont want to be hurt again.

I prepare my self
for the numerous onslaughts,
of hurts and pains
to be inflicted by the love draughts.

I play a guessing game
of a different kind now,
if before, I loved and thought,
now I cleverly think and love,

I fortify myself
against possible hurts thinkable,
i numb myself, not to care,
enough, to be not vulnerable.

I think i win, as i no longer hurt,
that easily, that soon.
i dont know
i spell my doom.

for all the planning in love,
i come to soulful harm,
i can no longer feel light,
I no longer feel warm.

nourished

when u look at me tenderly,
in an absentminded way,
when u hold me gingerly,
and take my breath away

when u whisper casually,
in my ears words soft,
when u let me know,
i'm on ur mind oft,

when u make me feel
i am a cause of your smiles,
when you pine to meet me
in spite of the yawning miles

then even if u don't tell me
a thing about our love,
i feel nourished,
i feel loved.

lifetime of love

some days
when my love for you,
overflows like a rain laden cloud,
all ready to burst
in rainbow colored strains

of splendorous torrents,
soak in me completely,
drown in the whirlpool
of my incessant love
soar with me
to unbridled heights of estacy

and other days,
when the wary mind,
tottering between
distrust and fear
wavers in despair,
love me tirelessly,
hold me tight,
close to ur mountainous chest,
hide me from the ugly world,
lull me to a peaceful sleep,
and wait with me
for another sunny day to break..

and our love will last a lifetime.

soulmates

soulmates

its a
love that watches,
but doesn't perennially wait,

love that desires,
but doesn't expect fruition,
love that yearns ,
but does not pine,
love that is not lust free......
and yet not lusted after...
where life
with out the loved one flows,
without interruptions..
without sorrow

isnt that the stuff soulmates are made of???