love conquers all

It was the harshness in the voice that made me look behind and check. A mad mom look on a lady's face and a menacing voice to match. The open satchel. Next time u r going to keep ur pencil box or whatever, she was saying. Cause by then I stopped listening to her and turned towards the recipient. Her 10 year old child. More than that, the child was a special child. Now i ve been equally if not more guilty in the harshness department with my son, so I can't and won't stand in judgement.

What I want to write about is the child's expression. No fear of the menacing expression or voice. No sulk. No tears. The child was obediently nodding her head in eager anticipation. If I do it right I know mamma will not be angry she will love me again

. Such trust. It almost made me cry. As an adult what I lack most is perhaps this hard core trust. I know the minute I'm ticked off by people important to me, I go negative. I immediately want out. Permanently. A million times, I've wanted out. With my parents, siblings, husband, kid. I don't need u guys. I can survive and thrive on my own. The rebellion normally lasts till the anger. Then back to business.

I marvel at the special child's wisdom. She has never ever distrusted the inherently protective cover of love. Even when her mom is yelling at the top of her voice. I immediately think...so it a distrust of the existence of protective cover that makes me want to cut out. How poor my levels of trust are!

Thank you blessed child, you taught me a valuable lesson today.

God bless you!

internet friendships

somethings i learnt this particular year about internet life.(this was the year i stopped logging onto orkut, my former garden of eden, and trudged onto new frontiers of facebook).

u meet many people in ur internet life.every day.
some meetings last as little as an hourly train journey. others last as long as a government posting.
some u think wont be important in ur schemes of things, and yet one day u wonder how on earth can u do without them.
some who walked so easily in ur life, they became ur life even before u really knew it..some who effortlessly became ur life, and left it as effortlessly as they glided in.

a year where a few bonds /everlasting friendships were forged.(everlasting..how many years does ever lasting last?)
a year where friendships whom i thought i cud never do without, died an unnatural deaths.
friendships which died, but surprisingly, with the love intact.
friendships that died.just like that.
friendships that reached dead ends.
friendships that reached stalemates.
friendships that got forgotten in the crowd.
friendships that stopped growing even before it really got a chance to bloom.
friendships that stand strong, comfortable,steady and years to go.
friendships that went into hibernation, and comfortably awaiting the return of spring.

enemies turned friends, friends turned enemies, friends who u didnt think knew u that well, proclaim to love u and admire u.

one more thing i learnt.....people come into ur life, and go from ur life..they may come back again, or not come back at all, u may notice their absences, or not even notice their absences. but the heart is so vast, that it can accommodate the whole world of friends.

thanku 2012 for giving me yet another wonderful year.
and salutations to my internet friends.

detachment

Detachment

For long i have tried to grasp the essence of detachment. for me detachment was always a fancy name for indifference..cause i could not see the difference..i could see it no other way.how can anybody be detached and not become indifferent towards the object of your detachment.

After loads of thinking, the closest i could get to understanding detachment, was harshavardhan giving away the last of his belongings, and then proclaiming, today in totally happy...i can even remember the girl's expression who was mouthing those lines in a school play ....

As it usually happens, in those days, i had never really understood how anybody could be so glowing with happiness after giving away every mortal possession.....Later, as an adult i could understand, if not agree,as to, why Harshavardhan must have felt good..he had with that act made a clean break from his old life...not just in his mind; he had also proclaimed it loudly and clearly to the world..he had sort of burnt his bridges happily. now all, that he wanted to do, was seek and find the new life he was looking for.

Today morning, i see things in a different light.

Ive always believed that 'attached' love consists of three factors. always. there are no exceptions. they being, physical attraction, emotional connection, and a sense of ownership, towards the object of the love.

Once you remove the sense of ownership, what remains is physical attraction, and the emotional connection. the sense of ownership is dead. and that, i think is what real detachment is all about..its not losing interest in the object completely for that only leads to indifference. Its about not losing the physical and emotional connection with the object of one's love, and yet losing the sense of owning or belonging to that person.

Once this sense of ownership, or even potential ownership is firmly clamped upon, you immensely love the person, and yet are totally detached.

freedom of speech

most advocaters of freedom of speech are thinking in terms of their own freedom speech only. very few voltaires, who believe in universal freedom of speech.

needs

Dwell on this too... We feel the need to be loved, cause we feel the need to feel special. Once we outgrow this need we mite outgrow the other need too

imagine :P

Imagine,

women tying rakhis to all random men on the roads, offices streets, just about anywhere.

wow...the men will be forced to remain home,hide their faces, never come out, just so afraid to walk in the streets!

and hey pestro, no rapes no eveteasing..

come on women, we have nothing to lose but our chains!

sensitivity

sensitivity in any form is a great turn on.

last evening, while returning home, there is this bright eyed springly wiry eight year old girl, all in a hurry, entering the lift , closing the first door, and about to close the second,when she sees me...

and she waits with a question mark on her face..

i smile at her, not using words...just expressions..go ahead. ground floor....i wont be needing the lift.

she gives a big grin, closes the door, and sails upstairs.

little things like this,are such energizers especially after spending a whole tiring day with moronic selfish adults at the workplace.

maid in india

my maid is back from two days of paid leave..

she had to rush to her village in Dapoli , Maharashtra, cause apparently they are giving away 3000 bucks to widows like her, and the last date for filling the eligibility forms is 20th.

'a month?" i asked..eyebrows raised.

'no, a year' she says.. "but, why should i leave it..any money is good money".

for a woman who had been dumped by her husband in her prime, along with her three small children to boot, she who came to Mumbai to work as a domestic help, for donkey's years, and survived and looked after her three kids, now all grown up, married, with kids of their own..... one a barber, other in the army, and third daughter whom she got married before 'people talked', it is but a symbolic gesture from the government.

but as they say, better late than never.

and i feel good too..

at least some of the taxes, we pay is going to a good cause, i say!

trust

When u don't trust someone what u r doubting is his integrity in the said area of distrust. However, nobody likes having his integrity distrusted.

love again

we all want love to be about gazing at each other, but more often than not, its all about grazing the wounds we give each other

modern tangles

As I sit in the train catching my forty winks, I can feel the girl next to me jab me in circular motions. It seems never ending. Irritated I peer what she is up to. My sympathies.... Untangling the ear plugs of her cell!

knocked

stupid hopeful mind,
how many more knocks do u need before it finally drives home that all underline all people are flawed.

prism

colors
of myriad hues
spill splendorous
from life's prism.

and yet,
all it really is,
is streaming bright
white light.

inkaar

dear sudhir mishra.,

cant beleive you the same person who gave us hazarom khwaishom aisi..

inkar is a real good example of trivializing a very socially relevant topic, sexual harassment at the work place.

incidentally, one of the best movies ive seen which touches the core of sexual harrasment was a film of sai paranjpe...Disha, and the movie wasn't even about it.

Sudhir, its nice to have a pretty ace up ur sleeve in the form of chitrangada, but please give her a hard hitting script, and make her act.

thanking u in advance,

yours lovingly...