whats in a name?

Whats in a name? nothing for some, as it turns out!
read on.

WHATS IN A NAME?

watching an interesting programme on imagine TV..didnt get the name of the programme.

three children named bandar (monkey), bhalu(bear) and choohiya(rat) by their father...who says that he called them bandar and bhalu cause ram was helped by monkeys and bears to build the ramsetu..

well, i cant imagine parents can be so stupid that they weigh down their children with such ridiculous names...needless to say, im quite offended for those children.(there was an idiot in the audience who felt that the dad was right in giving his children such names...i wish tht sucker had been named chutiya by his parents....he wud then know!)

anchor rakhi sawant, has surprisingly anchored the program e with enuf sensitivity.

P a> Incidentally, ABN, I had a chap in my regiment whose surname was Chutiya. Felt funny first time -- then things carried on exactly as they used to.

ABN the sad part is that the dad is not even aware of the harm he had done

Pa M Yes -- keep advising the new parents to be careful with names -- but I guess every new parent knows best. Fact is (and I confirmed with a lot of friends from north east) that there is a tribe in NE called Chutiya and all the members of that tribe usually use the word Chutiya as their second name. Thats one big bunch of CHUTIYAS!

ABN well then, i change my wish and hope santa changes his name to bewakoof!

Pa M But why, Aneeta?

ABN so that he knows how it feels to be tied down with a stupid name

Pa M Santa Claus? or the Santa?

ABN u didnt read my post...im sure now..u hve liked it without reading it...the guy who thot the daddy was right..that fucker is the fucker im talking about

Pa M the problem lies not with the parents.... coz they do what they feel is correct at a given point .... the problem lies in how not to make fun of these choices.... instead respect each one's choice. This is specially applicable to the educated category..... just because you find it funny doesn't mean .... they are wrong !!! and if you feel that the children are not finding it difficult to deal with it.... try to help them in dealing with it !!! or find ways to convince the parents to act .... But condoning parents is NOT the answer..... Do You Think A Parent Would Do Anything That They Feel Is Wrong According To Them When It Comes To their Children ??!!!

ABN yeah, sarita i totally agree with u.,..the parents who go for female infanticide are also parents who wudnt hurt their children....:O. , or those honor killing fuckers...of course condoning them is not the answer

 Remember Aneeta.......... they do what THEY FEEL IS CORRECT.... and not what you and I think is Correct....

ABN like i already said, the female infanticiders and honor killers do think tehy are correct....dont tell me they do it thinking they are WRONG

SM we are veering away from your original point of discussion...... :)

ABN no we are not.,,u say parents are always right, im saying they are not always right....how does the seriousness or heniousness of the crime change the plane of the crime?

 let's begin another thread on these menace of our society.... if you so please !!! :)

 naming one's child the way one wishes to...isn't a crime of the same category

A BN no..the point is simple..children shud be named appropriately...not named crows and dogs just to pander to their funy tastes in names...period

 Your perspective is highly respected...Aneeta Babu N

ABN like i said sarita, that u have been named sarita is the reason that u cant see the pain of that poor girl named chuhiya

 so why laugh at the parent..... educate them !!! thats the solution...

ABN laugh? did i laugh? im fuming at him, not laughing at him, cause he has the audacity to make funny statements like, i gave my children bad names, but they choose to give themselves good or bad characters...

ABN who the fuck is he to give them bad names? there shudbe a law against such fucking fathers

AC Hey ! things are hot here !!!!!

ABN yes it is..u cannot take away the child's right to have a decent name, just because ur dad is a nutcase...if he is nutcase, he shud sign up in some asylum, not caste his nutty shadows on his children's psyches.

ABN in some decent country, it wud clearly border on childabuse...but here we actually have people supporting such nuttiness

ACBut I thought that the names are synonyms of love we want to give to the child ..and it has nothing about what others think about it

ABN how wud u take to being called bhalu, or saap?

ABN officially. in ur passport, and in ur school and ur college, and ur certificates, and ur marriage certificate and and ur clildren telling all, my dad's name...its saap

....shud i go on? 

A C How does it matter as long as the one who is calling me loves me and I love being called that way ...word are words ..and have very different meaning in different language ...why gauge with one language ..is it not in western world Laura is a very common name .

Aneeta Babu N this is very very easy to type, anurup chatterjee when u go around the world with a decently respectable name called anurup...but not when ur school leaving certificate calls u Bhalu, or bandar.

      

ABNhe guy bhalu, had applied for some thing, he never got a call from where ever it was, cause the organisers thot it was a prank

P R Agree with Aneeta -- need to be sensible about names.

AC Aneeta you are right ..but that does not happen the way you are putting it

A C How many Bhalus and Saap we come across

P R Names can damage -- if you name were Aardvark, you would be the first guy in your class for each and every viva voce.

ABN we dont,. so the poor chaps dont even have safety in numbers..imagine the ridicule they have to faced/face each single day of their life because their guardians werent sensitive enuf to a simple thing like giving a child a decent name...is it that much to ask for from a parent?

A B N anurup, are u saying that there are very few bhalus and saaps, so those guys dont deserve good names...since the issue is very uncommon, so thre is no need to sympathise with them?

P RThey will face ridicule every time a new chap gets to know the name.

A C There is nothing called good name or a bad name ..yes they deserve Aneeta ..why not ..but it that a serious issue ???

Aneeta Babu N yes it is...for somebody called bhalu and saap, it definitely is...are u saying its not???????????????????????????????? anurup, is it okay if i call u kurup from now on?

AC There are Surnames Kurup ..what can some one do ..

PR And although Im a non-Gandhian, I tend to say -- let a hundred criminals go free but not even one chap who is innocent be wrongly punished. Same situation here. Even 1 chap -- why should he take it??

A CIf you call me Kurup ..I will not mind ..it has to have acontext

ABN thanks prasanta, for the show of sensitivity..

ACThere are Hathi's in Bengali ..what can they do

PR Your welcome Aneeta -- I believe in it -- and have been advising young parents. Most of whom are dictated to by their parents.

ABN it has to have a context means? and what are u not into>? anurup.
and chutiyas in orissa, the hathis in bengal, the kurups in kerala, were born into that caste..the father had no role to play in that except perhaps that he sired them.
but this, he cud have clearly called them ram and sham, but chose to call them bandar and bhalu instead.....this is like an ugly monstrous face all ur life

AC Yes Aneeta thats part of most Indian every day ..the point is how serious we should be about it

AC How deep the damage is

ABN at now u are on the right track, anurup, when u are thinking damages...

AC How far the damage can go etc

AC I was always on track Aneeta what I was trying to tell is ..not much can be done on this name issue

ABN the damage can go rather deep...a name is something very personal, its ur first identity, and ur first identity is subject to ridicule every single waking second of ur life...how deep do u think the damage will be

what is wrong for you isnt so for the other... thats where the problem lies

ABN yes, the damage to those children has been done...i think we can afford to be senstive about it though, instead of siding that idiotic fat her

ABN i have to go back to my old argument, female infanticide isnt wrong for some, thats where the problem lies?..this is for sarita

 isnt it so??? otherwise why are they continuing it so blatantly....

ABN yes SM, but do u support female infanticide, saying the parents have the right to decide whether to keep their child or no...if u do, t hen i agree with u...not otherwise

Too busy for Presidents!

The title says it all i think!

The first time it happened, it was in 2004 around October, or was it November now? anyways at that time, .i was in such  a posting, where i was stuck so in a job,which didn't have a single minute's(not exaggeration, i assure my readers) respite from the minute i set foot in office, kept my bag on my table, till the time i picked up my bag, to walk back home again!

One such afternoon, when i was neck deep in work, i heard sirens blaring all around...i  asked my Sepoy to find out what the commotion was all about...he came back with the news....President, Abdul Kalam is visitng the Asiatic library.( that was the next building actually) .the sirens are for that..he will  be arriving shortly.

Now Kalam saheb, is one of the few politicians i tremendously admire (i doubt i need to explain why), and that he was going to come  just a breathe away from where i worked seemed too good to be true..i was almost tempted to shut shop and go and ogle at him, but the quantum of work staring at me, forced me to  stay put on the chair...well i can tell my grandchildren, i had grinned to myself, that there was this one day when i was even more busier than the President!

I was reminded of this incident just a few months back, when a similar thing happened again...one of my friend's father had expired and i was rushing to visit him..i had to reach his place before seven, as he would be at home only till seven, and it was already six...as usual, when u need it most, u never get...no, not love, i was referring to cabs.. i almost half walked, half ran, my calves and bones aching from the sheer speed of my walk/run, as i tried to reach the railway station in five minutes flat...even in all that pain, i couldn't help noticing, that there were uniformed policemen all the way right up to the Rly station,( but for me at that minute, it was just a strange backdrop). When i reached the Rly station, two uniforms cops were there too.. which is when i got a bit worried(bomb scare was the first thing tht came to mind) and asked, is something wrong?...no no madam, they said, the President, Pratibha Patil  is coming this way, thats all!

Ah, i had to grin to myself, as i spiritedly sprinted  for the train, aching bones and all...........well, she will have to wait another day too, for me to meet her! right now im too busy!

the water babies

               It must have started five years ago..maybe more, or maybe even less..i dont remember. and its not important either..it started because i was there at that place at that time on that day...i had reached home from work one evening, I was searching for the door keys, as usual,, when suddenly a bunch of begging kids, knee length, surrounded me.. aunty some water please, can we have some water please?..the urgency in the voices made me give them water...its only after i gave them  water,that  i noticed my next door neighbor..she was watching me with loads of irritation...that is when she was not smirking.. 'lets see how long your generosity  will last? kind....which it when it clicked...She was the water carrier for the kids till that day. she wud have refused them water that day, which is why they cottoned on to me...

              i had clearly not known what i had let myself into that day..the extent of my  involvement in this 'social service' became clear only much much later...kids of all ages and genders came knocking at all times...cute kids, tiny shy ones, the naughty ones, the restless ones, the brash abrasive ones, the' its your job' expressioned ones, the greatful ones, the ones who buckle to authority immediately, and the ones who are destined to disobey authority ones, for water.......kids who do not respect my afternoon siesta or my poignant moments on the television, and  who often  wud have caught me with eyes brimed with 'film on TV' tears ...and yet other times when they wud have saved me from abusing somebody on orkut! :P. though i must admit,  i had to face the brunt only on weekends and holidays. other times it is my son and sometimes my maidservant who has had to do the duty.

          They sometimes come with odd requests...can we have cold water from the refrigator? one cheeky lad had once demanded, to which i had firmly said no..soon i began to draw lines...nobody leave any water in the glasses..no cold water...no using aqua water for washing hands or legs, and no taking water for somebody sitting somewhere else..who wants water comes here, and takes it here, no screaming, jostling and pushing each other for water, no demands of favoritism...the me first me first thing......they took to the rules easily.

           Then came the time, when i was bored of playing mother terresa to the kids, and wanted out..I was so tempted to throw in the towel....but the recollection of the smirk always saved me..no il last longer, it made me promise myself each time it happened. and i also had a secret solace..ah, well, the kids will  grow up one day and the 'duty' wud end.

         ..but, it didnt..that is, the kids did grow up, but in the meanwhile new kids joined ..so the cycle continues..

          in my better moments i remember i seem to have this curse with water...i mean i had noticed this long long ago, when ever im parched dying thirsty, and about to drink some water, somebody more parched wud demand water from me and i wud be forced to give it away to them...i had finally then decided, that perhaps in some last birth i would have killed somebody by keeping them thirsty, and hence the punishment this birth.

        Other times, i realize that by virtue of my job, i have had most 'free' teas than most people can imagine..so then for every glass of water i dole out, i get a free tea from providence in return..so then i am getting  a better bargain actually.

       Yet other times, i remember aunties who had given me water as a kid...just like i give water to these kids. i nurse a fond ambition...someday when they are grown up and giving water to some kids, they wud perhaps remember me too...ah, that aunty used to give us water, they mite fondly remember.

       today another though strikes me....now, though i often resent the doorbell's rings at odd hours, maybe when im old and lonely, the doorbells wud be  welcoming peals to my ears..maybe tht would the only thing il look forward to at that age.it makes me smile warmly.

          come kids come..as many times, as many days for as much water as u want...after all, u guys are my window to a small and the beautiful kiddy  world. i wudnt want to lose  view of that so easily. and like i said, u are my investment in time today...

convenient truths

convenient truths

convenient truths
have u seen how easy it is to be truthful if its convenient, or not very inconvenient?.

most of the times we earn the tag of being a truthful person, by simply being very vocal where it suits us,and quite where it does not suit us.

is that being really truthful? or is hiding truths as good as lying? or people who are so closed that they cant see beyond their noses, or are not able to see larger pictures, and hence beleive that they are very truthful, whereas actually they are as truthful as frogs in wells...


and again....being politically correc.t... isnt that a part of convenient truths too..

sleeping with a stranger!

Its almost 3.30am, and we,15 of us mostly women at Ardhakuwari shrine, half way to the vaishnodevi shrine. the trek to ardhkuwari had lasted 3 hours, and when we had reachd there, we were warm.

But immediately it begins to get cold. i first put on my scarf, a little later my sweater comes on, a little more later, the gloves, and then in sheer desperation, wrap the shawl tighterr...others dont seem to be faring as badly as me, at least they are not saying anything....

the pricients of the temple is filled with 1000s of sleeping bodies huddled inside thick blankets...i just want some place to crash, but there seems no visible land left at all,just blankets blankets everywhere...three of us spot an empty iron bench, and we decide to sit sleep on the bench..its better than the floor, we decide...and do close our very tired eyes...but there is just no escaping the cold...the iron bench feels like an ice bed...luckily some kind soul tells us that we cud collect blankets from teh authorities, for a deposit of 100 bucks...

we manage to get three blankets,.the blankets look like they are are 1000 years old, i almost imagine that they wud have never been washed since some textile company would have manufacured them a million of years ago...i wonder if it wud have contained some baby's drool, or poop, or vomit, or even some night discharge...but the cold immediately throws away all thoughts of hygiene to rest. and then we shift base to the concrete ground..it seems less colder and hence more inviting than the iron bench.

i want to tell my two friends to cuddle sleep..but i dont, cause i dont find them fretting as much about the cold..i lie next to a stranger...the stranger is covered from head to toe, in a similar looking blanket.i cant make out whether the stranger is a man or a woman ..i sigh as i wrap my shawl and blanket, more tightly around my body,to ward off the evil cold, but it doesnt help much..i toss and turn, im even half asleep i think, but the cold doesnt let me go into dreamworld that easy..i somehw start feeling that my blood is congealing, or tht my heart is freezing...

ah, i miss a pillow...if only i had a pillow, i moan, half asleep, i wud feel fine...suddenly, i see that the person next to me has a pillow, and more importantly, the person is using just half of it..i snuggle close to the pillow,rest my head onto it, and zzzzzzzzzz sleep tightly...

and thats how i slept with a stranger, that night at ardhakuwari! :P

PS..my friend told me later, that it was a kid whom i shared the pilow with!